Ask the Expert: Kathy Fry
We talked to Kathy Fry PT, DPT, OCS and founder of By Design PT about our pelvic floors, how those muscles work, and why butt stuff can just feel so damn good!
How can I properly relax my pelvic floor. during anal play to enhance comfort and pleasure?
Learning how to relax the pelvic floor is probably 60% of the people that come into my clinic. While many think pelvic floor exercises are limited to kegel exercises, it's important to realize that these muscles lengthen as well as contract (just like any other muscle in our body). The best way to relax the pelvic floor is to do an exercise called a "reverse kegel." If a kegel is a squeezing and lifting of the anal/vaginal muscles, then a reverse kegel is relaxing and stretching the anal/vaginal muscles. To perform a reverse kegel, push gently (without holding your breath) downward into the pelvic floor as if you are trying to pass gas quietly.
How do I properly engage/ disengage my pelvic floor muscles to make insertion more comfortable?
We definitely want to relax the pelvic floor when inserting anything. The best way to do this is to perform a reverse kegel. During sexual play I would recommend taking a deep breath and performing a reverse kegel by pushing gently through the pelvic floor like you are trying to pass gas as the finger, toy, penis, etc. is being inserted.
What breathing techniques can help with pelvic floor relaxation during anal play?
Deep diaphragmatic/belly breathing is the best!!!
As an exercise to prepare the body for anal play or pelvic floor relaxation in general, you can do this: start by lying down in a comfortable position and place your hands on your lower abdomen, just above your pubic bone. Take a deep breath into your belly. Expand your lower abdomen into your hands thinking 'Big Belly, Hard Belly.' As you breathe in, try pushing gently downward into your pelvic floor muscles as if you are trying to gently pass gas. You should feel a pressure or relaxation/stretch feeling in your anal muscles/pelvic floor. One note to make us not to strain or bear down while doing this type of breathing. It should feel relaxing, not forced.
Why does it feel good? If I don't have a prostate, why is this a pleasurable experience?
I love this question! There are so many nerves down there!! The pudendal nerve branches out to the clitoris/penis, the perineum and the anus and sends sensory information (light touch, deep pressure, pain, etc.) back to your brain to be interpreted as pleasurable or not. This nerve also allows contraction of the pelvic floor muscles during arousal pumping blood into the pelvis and the clitoris (this is necessary for an erection) Stimulation of the nerves can start a cascade of events that create pleasure. The superticial nerves that relay sensation to the brain during anal stimulation are around and just inside the anal sphincter muscle. These are the nerves that can bring pleasure!
Can you tell me more about the type of tissue in and around my butt, like, why does it feel good (from a scientific perspective!)?
Pleasure is really a perspective or an interpretation of the brain to a certain sensation and stimuli. To some people certain sensations can be perceived as painful or pleasurable or meh, it all depends on how the sensation is received by the brain. There are A LOT of nerve endings in the anal area that can bring pleasure when stimulated the "right way" and that "right way" can be different for everyone whether that be light touch, deep pressure, tapping, vibration, etc.
